hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
