what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
