there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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