Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
