By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
