just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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