sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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