Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
