no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
