Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
