WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we made out on top of his cat.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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