I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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