whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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