Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
