Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
