you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
