I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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