I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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