How'd it feel making her break her religion?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
