I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
