operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
