I'm really into asian looking animals
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
