drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
