I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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