If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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