there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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