We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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