were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
