Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
