its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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