So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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