Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
