Already got asked if we're dating
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
