I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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