I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You have to summon your inner elephant
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
