you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
