wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
