Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
