Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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