i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
