Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
