That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
