But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
