Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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