return my video game
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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