I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
