ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
