why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
