Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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