YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
