I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
