you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
